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Post by Nille on Apr 9, 2013 3:01:15 GMT -5
Discussion to begin April 16 for pages 12 -25 When People offer you advice about how to overcome infertility how does it make you feel? Have you reached your limit-psychologically, emotionally, physically, spiritually? When does it feel unbearable? Can you relate to Sarah & Abraham? Which role can you identify with most? Does their story seem relevant? Could God be using your situation to help you prepare for a miracle? Attachments:
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Post by Nille on Apr 26, 2013 1:17:59 GMT -5
Unless if the advice comes from someone who has been in my shoes I find advice to be very annoying and frustrating. People are quick to act like they are an expert even though they haven't gone down this type of a journey and it is annoying. Then they hound you asking if you have taken their advice.
I try to be nice and remind them that we've been on this journey for 5 years and in that time we have seen a lot of "experts" in this field and done everything they have said. I personally am beyond my limit psychologically, emotionally, physically and feel like I am at the bottom spiritually.
I have found myself resenting that I've lived (I beat the odds back in 1997 when I was given 3 months to live) and feeling like I'm a mistake and I shouldn't be here. Last year I had a cancer scare and I found myself wishing that I had it because I had decided that would be best for my husband. I could be gone in 3 months and he could move on and find someone who could give him the family he wants.
When people give their advice it brings me down, I feel even more like a failure. It was really hard to get to the place where we could talk about our struggles but we have found that being open and honest with friends and family about what we are going through seems to be a huge mistake, their comments and actions bring us down more than lift us up.
I do relate to Sarah's feeling of impatience especially since we are running out of time. The doctors love to stress that every time I go for a visit. I get panic attacks now which are totally out of character for me. I do find myself wanting a solution any solution just to take away the panic I have about not having a family. I feel like there isn't a point to life with out a family and to have a family we need kids. We have dreampt about this, having the family both my husband and I did not have while growing up. I see my husband taking a similar role to Abraham and while he is sad, frustrated and depressed about our situation he is most worried about me and willing to do the crazy things I suggest we try. Then when we've failed he tries to fix it and console me. At this point I feel inconsolable.
Sometimes I fear that God is using our situation for something other than a miracle, I'm not quite sure what that is. I use to have the hopes and belief that our miracle was just around the corner and that if we were patient that it would happen. Then I see people all around me having babies both unplanned and planned it takes the hope away. They weren't even trying and it happened to them, others try for a few months and it happens for them and many times the babies aren't even wanted and/or they can't care for them but they get to take them home and raise them. I'm told that God will not have given us this desire and then not follow through. Many of the people I see get pregnant without trying and without the means to care for their babies don't believe in God. It's so hard to understand.
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Post by EndoMeBad on Apr 26, 2013 11:37:59 GMT -5
When people offer me advice, it usually goes in one ear and out the other. It's sad but true. I only seem to find some comfort in advice given to me by my twitter family. As you said, it could just be because they are in my shoes... somewhat. For me, I haven't tried to conceive so I don't know but what I do know is that all odds are against it for one reason or the other. It's hard to find another person who knows what that feels like.... to feel like you've failed before you've even tried.
I have not reached my limit on any of those aspects though. I say that because every time I hear bad news and think I cannot digest it, by the grace of God, I do. And because of that, I just keep trekking along. I don't believe I'll ever be given more than I can bear even when it seems so VERY unfair. This is probably one of the few biblical promises I find comfort in.
I can relate to Sarah in terms of wanting to take matters into my own hands. I'm anxious and uncertain of the future, this uncertainty leads me to want to do things on my own, make my own decisions, play my own "life game". I also haven't found the "one" yet (will I ever? topic for another day) which worries me even more because it's like "do I wait or do I just attempt to have a child on my own?"
Could God be using my situation to prepare me for a miracle? He could & if He is, I could really use a heads up! LOL If I had an idea, just a small hint, of what was to come, I feel it would alleviate the pressure and rush I feel in making many of these decisions.
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